How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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