Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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