Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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