If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
