Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
