Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize