no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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