Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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