I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Alive.
So much puke
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
