dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
