I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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