Soap is not a condiment
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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