you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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