Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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