READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
