I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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