we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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