I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
