My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The Olympian is in my bed
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
