yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
