Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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