Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
