the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
