oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
being pregnant is like rehab
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
