She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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