I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
