There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
