I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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