OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
