Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
