life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
These tits shall not be calmed
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
