And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
