If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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