Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
