So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
