this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
