There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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