Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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