Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
