k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
