Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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