i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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