End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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