I cockslap morals
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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