gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
