I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
