I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
