They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Randomize
