Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize