my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
