He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
