Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize