I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
