Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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