Its about making memories worth repressing
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
