So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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