theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
