The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
