We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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