Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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