Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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